My mother has always said that my dad’s family is “touched”. I don’t deny that, they are all sort of kookoo bananas. I am only now beginning to accept this reality. It always sort of embarrassed me that she said such things about MY family (I mean, she’s not blood-related to them, so she has nothing to lose by ragging on them. I do however, because I am ALSO kookoo bananas). I always have known deep down that I was “touched”.
I’ve only recently begun to look at my odd quirks with more compassion. Because, there is one particular family member that was Kookoo with a capital K that I am NOT ashamed of.
His name is William Rufus King and he is my gay great great great uncle. He was President Buchanan’s “wife” and live-in companion for over 15 years. He was also the Vice President for a few weeks. No one ever talks about him. I guess the whole country is a little ashamed of their swishy senator from Alabama. He wore POWDERED WIGS when the Senate was in session many many many years after this went out of style… will you please take a second, close your eyes and picture this???. He was the ONLY senator to wear a wig, at a time when ANDREW JACKSON, that macho man bigot, was also on the floor. This future president had the audacity to call my Uncle Rufus “Aunt Fancy”. In the words of Stephanie Tanner..How Rude!!!! I bet that hurt his feelings. He just understood fashion. He was bringing the look back and enjoying being a fantasy Founding Father. No one got it. He was such a fun fairy.
He was known as maybe not the most amazingly articulate or powerfully intelligent man. But he was well thought of because he was honorable and had a quiet integrity about him. People could count on him because he was slow and steady. No, he wasn’t the most popular. And surely he was laughed out of many social circles. But he was elected Vice President when it was known that he was dying of Tuberculosis because he was respected by everyone. He was elected Vice President to honor him. Wow!! Why don’t people talk about this amazing guy? He was a sassy gay who was well respected at a time when people like him were being strung from trees! He had good style AND Andrew Jackson hated him!! (which seriously adds to his street cred)
Anyway, he makes me much less ashamed of being myself. When I have a bad day like I did today, when I can almost touch my self loathing and I worry that I am the worst most unlovable person on the planet, I think of Rufus. Because the same crazy blood runs in my veins that ran in his. And that makes me incredibly proud. I’m going to drink tonight to Mrs. Buchanan!!!!
